The Epic Of DrTazzle

"Welcome back to Physical Violence, Taz" says the voice in my ear "It's been a while, but you knew you'd be right back where you were in the first place no matter how hard you tried didn't you?"

I did, as a matter of fact. Possibly (partially) as a result of my usual everyday paranoia, which has been getting a whole lot worse since i have been forced to cut down drastically and suddenly on my cannabis intake, the worl has become a much darker, scarier place than it was a few weeks ago.

A short while ago, I was round a 'friend's' house, as i had nowhere else to go due to the recent disturbance in the relationship with my parents over drugs etc. While I was there it turned ou that they had planned something of a 'night in with the lads' and a few tabs of acid.

Everything was going fine and completely without any unhappiness until Eddie-Joe Walsh arrived, having consumed about 2 and a half LITRES of whiskey. Neat. Needless to say he was obliterated.
Within 5 minutes of falling through the front door and over anything above shoulder level on the way to the living room, he had started on two of us. I don't remember the circumstances that lead to him starting on the other person, but when he rounded on me, all bleary-eyed and groggy, he muttered something incomprehensible and lunged across the room and a fully occupied coffee-table at me. This, I decided, I could handle. I'd let him off, because me and him had never had any quarrels in the past, and he is ridiculously pissed after all. He calmed down a little. Well, in so far as he had stopped launching his entire body in rage at people for no reason.

Then someone came up with the bright idea of giving him Acid.

Now, i have little/no experience of acid as I personally give hallucinogens a very wide berth due to mental illnesses with which i am told it is not good to mix powerful mind-altering drugs. I know actually next to nothing about it. I dont know how long it lasts, what the effects are really like, all i know is what i have been told, and even that is not a great deal.

It had been a good eight hours or so since they (Louis, Tim, Danny, Susan and Eddie) took the acid and Eddie had at some point, fucked everyone in the room off to the point at which they wanted to take the heels of their respective boots and insert them into the centre of his face, but all had resisted due to the drugs they were on at the time.

I did not have the padding of LSD to protect me (or Eddie) from how much of a cock he was being. Changing the music every 30 seconds (which was annoying everybody) and generally irritating the fuck out of me at the very least. I had, in the last two hours had one roll-up, NO sleep, NO drugs, and it was about 6am. Everyone was trying to sleep. Eddie had eventually settled upon the most God-awful fucking bollocks in the whole of the musical world (which I later found out was The Doors) which was literally driving me crazy, and was lying on his back, singing random extracts (badly) from each brain-destroying track at the top of his lungs.

The owners of the house had been telling him all night, in no uncertain terms, to shut the fuck up and issued threats aplenty when he refused to do so. This I joined in, and after half an hour of repeatedly not only telling hi to shut up, warning him i would smack him if he didnt, and asking everyone else in the room if they minded if i hit him (to which the typical reply was: *shrug* 'S'nothing to do with me.'), I finally lost my rag.

I walked over to the stereo, turned off the offending garbage coming out of the speakers, walked over to Eddie, and hit him a couple of times. Not hard enough to hurt him, just to shut him up and express to him the severity of the situation which up till that point he had not taken in. I lay back down and tried to sleep, failed, then left.

As it turns out, Eddie was not only still very much on the LSD he had taken at the point i had hit him, but also under the impression that i was on acid and he had tripped me out and that was why i had hit him. He later found out this was not the case, and started throwing around threats.

Now, to hear him and his friends tell it, I have a large number of people after my blood for giving Eddie a bit of a slap when he was on Acid. Apparently this is a much worse thing to do than i had ever imagined.

I sent Louis, Tim and Eddie a letter saying that basically, what had transpired between me and Eddie had nothing to do with Tim, Louis or the money they owe me. That I had no interest in pursuing a friendship with any of them, and that i just wanted this resolved peacefully and without hassle on either part or any more violence. Didn't work.

I saw a friend of his, Danny White in town today who walked past me and told me to watch my back for what i did to Eddie. Like i said, I am really sick of walking through town and getting threatened, so i responded with a great deal of anger. I didn't hit him despite being perfectly prepared to do so, but I made it abundantly clear to him that it would not be in his best interests to attempt to hit me, by basically standing up to him and giving him as much verbal abuse as he was giving me, and throwing a fair bit of threatening body language into it for good measure. He backed down with a repetition the threat that there were a lot of people after me. I tried to put it out of my mind, but for the rest of the day i walked with a little more caution than usual through town just in case.

I came home and not long ago received a phone call from Eddie saying that it is not just Tim (who i thought might have been mature enough to drop this stupid shit, more the fool me), Louis, Eddie, and Danny who are after me. This at least confirmed 4 of my suspects.

So what do I do now? I'm sorry to keep asking for everyone's advice, but these are questions and problems to which i have been unable to find solutions.

Oh, and by the way, the last post was more a rant about women in general, NOT about Yvette, just about past bitches who have fucked me about, just cos i felt they deserved a tribute on the site on which i underline the reasons for why i am how i am, and how i got here.

Well, thank you again for reading, I hope to hear from you soon!

Dr Tazzle (aka: The Stig)

PS: Tom, I really do appreciate you saying that you would willingly fight alongside me, but I have never relied on other people to fight my battles and never will. I have NEVER in my entire life had anyone fight alongside me. No-one has ever been prepared to. Not my best friends, not ANYBODY, so i would never expect you to. So while i appreciate the offer, know that i will never try to hold you to it. I can only say that i can imagine someone fighting alongside me, and it feeling really good that someone actually cared about me enough to put their own safety at risk for me, but like i said, no-one ever has, and i doubt they ever will, but thank you anyway, it's the thought that counts. Now im just going to allow myself to be drawn into the fucking pathetic pit of depression i can once again feel myself sinking into.

A short phrase to describe how i feel: Fuck it. Fuck it all. POintless. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.I give up entirely,
FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!!FUCK IT!!! *Takes a deep breath.* Fuck it.